relate…

adik

hahay… isa lang dito sa tatlong to ang gusto kong kainin kanina….  at wala akong nakain kahit isa…

3. MEIJI BLACK CHOCOLATE - hindi ako nakakain kasi wala akong mahanap dito sa  Kabacan kaya lang hinahanap hanap ng panlasa ko….

2. LYCHEE JELLYACE - bumili ako ng isang pack the other day nilagay ko sa freezer, kasi i prefer to eat it na malamig at frozen. Akala ko meron pa ng tiningnan ko kanina kasi gusto kong kumain, ubos na pala….

 1. ISAW NI MAMI JUV - this march lang every afternoon bago ako pumasok ng bahay ay nakaugalian ko ng bumili muna ng isaw sa harap. Masarap at naging paborito ko hanggang ngayon. Kanina lang mga 3:00PM lumabas ako kasi gusto ko sanang kumain kaya lang di pala nagluto sila mami juv ngayon. kain na kain na talaga ako ng isaw! Sana magluto sila mami bukas.

thursday the 10th

This day was scheduled for a review. Supposedly, the 2nd to last day of review sana but then it was cancelled  kasi the reviewer wasn’t able to arrive due to some matters in his own review center daw…. blahblahblah…. So instead of a review this day the concerned persons of the review center scheduled this day for the post evaluation test. I myself wasn’t prepared for it but I have no choice but to take the exams.  Honestly I wasn’t really prepared i just relied on the lectures that i attended. (parang kung anu ung answer ko nung pre test un pa rin ang answer ko kanina…hehehe). I won’t expect a lot on the results because i didn’t really made a push for it. Di man lang ako mkabuklat ng notes dito sa bahay… tulog lang ng tulog di nman tumataba… hehehe. Batman will come to the rescue!

After the post test….

 I went to school with tintin  and enrolled mami joy for her summerload. done!

Taba and I went on bonding and had a lot of girltalks… masaya! Taba wasn’t having a good day because she was depressed so I decided to stay for a while and have some time with her since kami nlang ang within easy reach. hehehe… A lot of sad and happy moments streamed our conversation. We really are girls and we relate with each other. hahaha… friends nga tayo tin! 

We did a lot of kwentuhan, reminiscing the schooldays and having a flashback on our normal classroom setting, acting out the nuances of our classmates and stating their favorite punchlines! hahahaha…. nakakamiss! We also talked about some plans concerning the future: the review, the place to stay during the review, our attitudes during the review, and disciplines that we must teach ourselves to survive the independent state. yey! I’m looking forward to that. I’m excited. No lola, no family, no relatives, no one to help me but me and myself. Hopefully this will really be a great learning experience for me and the rest of the gang. This will be a training for me. Thanks to the most wonderful invention of mankind, the cellphone, for I will always be in touch even if i’m not around.  

the art of decision making

According to  Madam Lydia M. Venzon and Ma’am Jennifer N.V. Nagtalon this is what decision making is on their book Nursing management Towards Quality Care 3rd Edition…

     Most people  who rise to the top of their chosen careers share a common  characteristic: they are decisive. They make decisions and are afraid to take risks. When it’s time to do something they do it, while others procrastinate and wait  for someone else to make the decision.

A decision is a course of action that is consciously chosen from available alternatives for the purpose of achieving a desired result. It involves a choice utilizing mental processes at the conscious level and is aimed at facilitating a defined objective.

Decisions made at the executive level are more complexand affect a greater number of people. Decisions at the unit level usually pertain to everyday problems which may have routine answers or which the supervising nurses  and head nurses may have learned to solve through experience.  However, when confronted by problem of considerable magnitude, they may find it difficult to arrive at a solution effectively. they have to use a systematic, rational method to solve their problems. This method can be learned and developed through experience, practice and maturity.

—————————————————————————————-

Just posted something about decision making tonight because i found it to be the word of the night.  Defined it on a nursing light for a sort of review and ventilation of feelings.

I’m not good at this art but i’l practice. Hopefully practice makes perfect…. but nobody’s perfect. So ironic!

A good thought from Sir Gicar

"Life is pretty simple. When you’re asking for apples and life hands you lemons, make  lemonade.  If  you’re on your way out and it started to rain, be happy at least you don’t have to water the plants anymore. It’s a matter of seeing things in different perspectives. The benefits may not be immediate or obvious but you have to know this for sure, in life there will always be problems and struggles. Have faith and enjoy life. Take it easy. If today you are picking up the grapes, tomorrow you’ll be drinking the wine."

Last month Sir Gicar, one of our reviewers, flashed this on the LCD at the end of his lecture on Pharmacology and it’s quite a good thought to start and end a day. I was able to used it as my guide today in  overcoming the said depressive state. It’s effective : ) My day was lighter and im glad about it. Today was  bright and shiny for me. : )  

i’m afraid i’m one

 i answered an online depression test and here’s the results…. seen the symptoms on myself these past few days…

Online Depression Screening Test

Brought to you by the
NYU Department of Psychiatry

Your answers reflect the presence of significant depressive symptoms. It is advised to seek a psychiatric consultation, 
 

What Is Depression?

Everyone occasionally feels blue or sad, but these feelings are usually fleeting and pass within a couple of days. When a person has a depressive disorder, it interferes with daily life, normal functioning, and causes pain for both the person with the disorder and those who care about him or her. Depression is a common but serious illness, and most who experience it need treatment to get better.

Bipolar disorder, also called manic-depressive illness, is not as common as major depression or dysthymia. Bipolar disorder is characterized by cycling mood changes-from extreme highs (e.g., mania) to extreme lows (e.g., depression). Visit the NIMH website for more information about bipolar disorder.

What are the symptoms of depression?

People with depressive illnesses do not all experience the same symptoms. The severity, frequency and duration of symptoms will vary depending on the individual and his or her particular illness.

Symptoms include:

• Persistent sad, anxious or "empty" feelings
• Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness and/or helplessness
• Irritability, restlessness
• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
• Fatigue and decreased energy
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering details and making decisions
• Insomnia, early–morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• Overeating, or appetite loss
• Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
• Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment

What are the symptoms of depression?

People with depressive illnesses do not all experience the same symptoms. The severity, frequency and duration of symptoms will vary depending on the individual and his or her particular illness.

Symptoms include:

• Persistent sad, anxious or "empty" feelings
• Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness and/or helplessness
• Irritability, restlessness
• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
• Fatigue and decreased energy
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering details and making decisions
• Insomnia, early–morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• Overeating, or appetite loss
• Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
• Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment

How can I help myself if I am depressed?

If you have depression, you may feel exhausted, helpless and hopeless. It may be extremely difficult to take any action to help yourself. But it is important to realize that these feelings are part of the depression and do not accurately reflect actual circumstances. As you begin to recognize your depression and begin treatment, negative thinking will fade.

To help yourself:

• Engage in mild activity or exercise. Go to a movie, a ballgame, or another event or activity that you once enjoyed. Participate in religious, social or other activities.
• Set realistic goals for yourself.
• Break up large tasks into small ones, set some priorities and do what you can as you can.
• Try to spend time with other people and confide in a trusted friend or relative. Try not to isolate yourself, and let others help you.
• Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Do not expect to suddenly "snap out of" your depression. Often during treatment for depression, sleep and appetite will begin to improve before your depressed mood lifts.
• Postpone important decisions, such as getting married or divorced or changing jobs, until you feel better. Discuss decisions with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
• Remember that positive thinking will replace negative thoughts as your depression responds to treatment.

How can I help a friend or relative who is depressed?

If you know someone who is depressed, it affects you too. The first and most important thing you can do to help a friend or relative who has depression is to help him or her get an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. You may need to make an appointment on behalf of your friend or relative and go with him or her to see the doctor. Encourage him or her to stay in treatment, or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs after six to eight weeks.

To help a friend or relative:

• Offer emotional support, understanding, patience and encouragement.
• Engage your friend or relative in conversation, and listen carefully.
• Never disparage feelings your friend or relative expresses, but point out realities and offer hope.
• Never ignore comments about suicide, and report them to your friend’s or relative’s therapist or doctor.
• Invite your friend or relative out for walks, outings and other activities. Keep trying if he or she declines, but don’t push him or her to take on too much too soon. Although diversions and company are needed, too many demands may increase feelings of failure.
• Remind your friend or relative that with time and treatment, the depression will lift.

my Super villain personality

I’m  Dark Phoenix

Dark Phoenix 77% Two-Face 70% Mystique 66% Apocalypse 65% The Joker 62% Poison Ivy 58% Venom 56% Juggernaut 54% Riddler 54% Green Goblin 54% Dr. Doom 53% Catwoman 51% Mr. Freeze 50% Magneto 48% Lex Luthor 38% Kingpin 28% A prime example of emotional extremes: Passion and fury incarnate. Click here to take the "Which Super Villain are you?" quiz… <a href="http://technorati.com/claim/f8h38vkhhx" rel="me">Technorati Profile</a>

appearances decieve: the duck story

There was a girl who seemed so bubbly and so happy to look and be with. She was so good to others that she pleases almost everyone. She was a pathetic people pleaser! No one can blame her because she only wants everyone to be at ease with her. She want’s to gain a lot of friends and there she gets it. She had been good to everyone except for herself. She even sacrifices her comfort for other’s sake. She makes it to a point that she meets the needs of the people around her and not considering her ownself. It’s really a heartbreaking sight  for her to see people around her suffering while she enjoys her comfort zones. That’s why she also used to lend hand to those people. She’s confused… very confused! She’s weak.  She’s troubled and horrible. She looks so cool but then she is paddling so hard inside. She even wants to die at this very moment. She looks strong but she is the weakest. so bad…She wants to see all the people she loves happy and successful. She pays attention to everyone’s dreams. She shows compassion to everyone’s down moment. So unfair… Who is there to pay attention to her dreams? Who is there to be with her when she’s down? is there someone who would sit with her and listen to her sentiments without having a word? She’s also a human who  needs things just as everyone needs.  She tends to forget all of these through superficials… fooling around, cracking jokes and making others happy, going with peer pressures, wasting time, killing time, and doing nonsense things….hahaha… fool! Am i her?

simple little things

I’m from  duty earlier and from pictorials session  for our yearbook. This day was a very long one for me and i think for the rest of my groupmates. We had our headnursing and staffing duty at KDI and indeed i learned a lot. it was not like of the other duties on the wards and special areas. We got to be under Ma’am Nadine this time and she was not the one that most of the students talk about. i’ve proved all the hearsays about her to be awfully wrong. She was very good and like ma’am remelyn said that she was the best CI at our school. You really can learn a lot of things from her. 

 The pictorials…. : )

I was the 2nd from the last person on the list to have m y pictorial this day due to our duty shift. We were supposed to have it at 1pm but then our group had our duty so we were the last batch for it at 4:30pm. It was fun. hehehe… i did had fun! I had my hair fixed. It’s a good sight to see that  my beloved classmates are helping each other fixing things for the other and making things for the other. Small things made for the other without expecting anything in return. Fixing one’s dress, helping do the other’s hair, putting and suggesting make up for the other, lending things that are needed by the others, helping the boys put on their neckties, sharing things that others don’t have and many more small thing. I love the sight and experience! I really appreciate everyone of the section C/D… no man is an island really…

I want to thank RIchard for having my make up done,  johnrey for being honest and suggesting a good lip tint for me, jheanroy for fixing my oily face, glace for putting some pins on my hair and making it look better, ate tonet for helping me put on the toga properly, ellen for helping me hide my collar, karen for lending eyeliner and blush on, madam babull for the lip shinner and powder and for everyone….. : ) these are very small things but then without you guys i will not be able to have my photo perfectly captured on this day. thanks : )

the one i love

: ) it’s one of our precious time  during our first year together. wow! It’s only a month to go before our anniversary : ) he is everything to me, he is a friend, an enemy, a pillow and a couch in one  (lol), my leftover eater (hehehe…)

He loves a lot of stuff and he mean it…

1. he loves food (so much!got a monster appetite)

2. he loves pingpong (he will surely miss one half of his life when he can’t play in a week)

3. he loves books particularly fiction ( it makes him more appreciate his course i think and learn a lot of

   things and makes him more disoriented about the reality) hehehe… peace!

4. he loves music (nirvana? he goes crazy for it…)

5. he loves the internet (he said he learns a lot of things from it….. dota, utopia, blogs, friendster….. hahaha)

6. he loves to make sonnets ( muvi reviews, song analysis, stuffs of  life… his name is GEEK?) 

7. he loves his family a lot (including all those cats and dogs….hehehe)

8. he loves God above all

looking forward to independence day!

I’m 21, and i guess the title is so obvious that im desperately needing independence! I know and i’m aware that i’l be needing this in the future when i’l have to live with the people i don’t normally live with ( i hope you get my point, quite confusing… hehehe), when i said  "the people i normally live  with" i refer to the people who are constantly around me and who helps  and assist me in almost everything i do which includes my lola, my family, my friends, and everyone who affects my decision making. I’m not trying to get rid of this people in fact i love them so much but then suddenlyit  came to my systems that i need to be on my own ground, i need to have a life of my own to live, i need to have decisions to make for myself so that i may  learn the art of decision making when i get to decide for  myself in the near future, i’ve got responsibilities to do on my own so that i  may not be lazy and be responsible for myself, i need to suffer  so that i may learn endurance to continue this race of life to its fullest, i need to fall on my  knees and need not any assistance to learn on how to stand on my own,  i’m already a grown up and i need to be equipped with things essential for life. I need to be fit enough for the fight of life, for life choose only the fittest as its survivors. It’s fearful and apprehending. All we need is to take the challenge and walk blindfolded and let life bring it on.

facts and fiction….. fantasy and reality…. whew!

facts and fiction…. fantasy and reality…

after a long time, i'm here again posting something new in my life which alone i can't contain…..
facts and fiction… fantasy and reality… i'm having a hard time drawing lines between these things lately.  I really don't have any clear explanation to myself why.
I used to be a girl living and loving the reality, not to mention i also very much love reality shows on tv but suddenly i found myself lost between fantasy and reality…
He loves fiction and fantasy while i'm an advocate of the other side… maybe this is the reason why mixing an oil to water is such a complicated process… in my own experience love made the  partitions very vague, that sometimes i found myself treating fiction as a fact and fantasy as a reality and vice versa… i'm on a crisis… and i'm trying to pull myself  a step back because i'm blinded by love not to see the boundaries between such things… we're really different  yet love is so strong to fight with. Drawing lines between facts and fiction, fantasy and reality for me is an essential to live life, to see things clearly with its own light and a need for us to live in this wide complicated real world. I need to this for myself without giving up my love.

Dexter Fletcher

Combat Missions Champion Glorifies God
4.18.02 by StG
You may have seen the show Combat Missions on the USA network.  It is one of the Survivor clones, starting with 24 of the top "operators" in the country.  The men were chosen from the Navy Seals, Delta Force, Green Berets, SWAT, Marine Force Recon, CIA Ops, etc.  I had seen about half the episodes and watched the final one last night in which the ultimate winner was chosen:

During the final episode, it became clear that Dexter Fletcher was a committed Christian.  It showed him reading his Bible, singing praise to God, leading prayer in the name of Jesus, and other guys talking about his "religious devotion."  He wasn't preachy, he was just real.  This 37 year old father of 5 Miami SWAT cop won the entire competition, proving himself to be the best of the best.  After winning he gave all the glory to Jesus - it was awesome!  Jesus in every area of society!  Where is He sending you?

Blessed be the LORD my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.  Ps. 144:1

 basta lagi with God….. nothing is impossible….. believe it or not. better believe it. why? because it's a 101% real. I can testify and a lot more can. Blessings are never ending if God is in your side. He will be your greatest colleague and your best buddy. Just trust and do your  part and don't forget to pray.

Ang Pangarap ng Isang Baboy

Kagagaling ko lang kanina sa isang handaan, birthday at thanksgiving ng isa kong klasmeyt, si Ross. Inimbitahan niya kami at kami naman ay pumunta. Sabi lunchtime daw kaya kami ay nagmadali sapagkat mag-aala-una na ng hapon. Sakay ng single na motorsiklo ay narating namin kanilang tahanan. Nakaupo sa sa ilalim ng punong Bayabas hawak-hawak ang kanyang saklay. Binati namin siya at siya naman ay napatawa sabay sabi na hindi pa umano nagsisimula ang serbisyo at siyempre wala pang handaan (buti na lang). Sabi rin niya ay alas dos pa raw magsisimula. Ako ay nagugutom na sa mga panahong iyon kayat ibinaling ko na lang ang aking pansin sa pamamasyal sa iba pa naming klasmeyt na nasa kabilang kalye. gusto ko ring kumain ng ice cream sa mga panahong ito kayat naghanap kami ng ice cream, sa kasamaang palad ni sorbetero ay wala kaming nakita. Bumalik kami kina Ross ng wala napala. Ilang minuto pa at nagsimula na ang serbisyo na silbing hudyat na malapit na rin kaming kumain (eksayted). Di nagtagal at panahon na ng kainan at tinawag na kami, walang pagdadalawang isip at walang hiyahiya na kaming sumugod sa hapagkainan. Ang ganda ng tanawin! Ito ang bumungad amin. Iba't ibang putahe na nagsasarapan at katakamtakam. Ang sarap pagsasakmalin at pagbuntungan ng galit. Pagkatapos manalangin para sa biyaya dumating na ang pinakahihintay naming sandali, ang pinakamasarap na parte, ang KAINAN  (Ang sayasaya). Da best ang Lechon, katakam-takam ang Papaitan, nakapang eenganyo ang Dinuguan, ang sarap ng Caldereta, lalong hahaba ang buhay mo sa pansit, sabayan pa ng Biko, Fruit Salad at Spaghetti kasama ang malamig na Pepsi. Sarap! Ilang sandali pa at sa wakas kami ay mga busog na, salamat sa mabiyayang mesa. 

    Ilang saglit pa habang ako ay nagpapalipas ng kabusugan kasama ang aking mga kaibigan, naiisip ko pa rin ang sarap ng aking mga kinain. Bumabalik-balik ito sa aking panlasa at isip nang biglang may sumaging tanong sa aking  isipan, "Pangarap kaya ng isang baboy ang kinahantungan nila sa mesa? May pangarap kaya ang baboy? Kung nakakapagsalita ang mga baboy, sasabihin kaya nila na 'paglaki ko gusto kong maging isang lechon' o di kayay  'paglaki ko gusto ko maging humba'?"  Nakakatawa at nakakaawang isipin ang katotohan na sila ay ginawa para pagpiyestahan sa hapag. Yun na lang ba ang pinakamataas nilang pangarap? ang maging isang masarap na putahe?  Ako ay napag-isip-isip  tungkol sa bagay na ito, masyado pa lang limitado ang buhay at pangarap ng isang baboy. Buti na lang at hindi ako naging isang baboy. Malaya kung nagagawa ang lahat ng gusto ko at malaya rin akong mangarap kung ano man ang gusto kung pangarapin hanggang sa aking makakaya. Marami ang mga tao sa ngayon na walang pangarap sa buhay, nakukuntento na sa kung anung meron na kahit meron pa sanang ikalalago. Hindi masama ang makuntento kung wala na talagang pagpipilian, pero ika nga habang may buhay ay may pag-asa, sayang ang buhay  Juan dela Cruz. Masuwerte kang malayo kung ikukumpara sa baboy. Walang bayad ang mangarap. Mangarap ka ng mataas at ito'y pagsumikapan mo at balng araw ito ay makakamit mo. Diyos lamang ang may hawak ng buhay mo, hindi ibang tao kaya gawin mo ang nararapat at ito'y palaguin  habang ito'y nasa sa'yo. Hindi ka hayop at lalung lalo nahindi ka baboy.

missing my high school friends…

I've been to Trento : ) It's a lot of fun. The time is too short for my vacation. I miss my high school friends. I want to be reunited with all of them but sad to say i wasn't able to make it. I had no contacts to them since my last phone number was changed. kainis! i saw some of them and  i'm happy and so thirsty with the bondings we shared on the past. I badly  miss the company. I only spent a day there and it's really not enough, i want to be there for a long time and spend some quality time with  my friends. Since I had no contacts to them, i spent the day wisely by going to their houses and visiting their moms and sisters which also used to be my friends but a day is not enough to do it all for them. The ones that i've met gave contact numbers of the others so we can communicate with each other. I saw an old  friend at the park and we found ourselves screaming and hugging when we saw each other. That's how we missed each others company. huhuhu… I'm dying to meet them all and I know also all of them want us all to be reunited again.  I miss all u48, rizal girls and all of my friends back at high school. I love you all.

First and Foremost

Today I planned to go Trento, Agusan del Sur with my brother to spend sometime there and unwind a little and for some reasons. It's where i spent the whole four years of my high school life and i think miss the place and the people i used to be with. I and my cousin,  who also had her high school there, lived a very simple life at Trento. We used to have 15 pesos as our daily allowance then. Just enough to have a one time snack either on the  morning or the afternoon. We walked to school everyday, it's not that far i think it's just 200-300 meters away from home. We had a lot of circle of friends there, and it really  made our high school life more fun! We had lots of happy moments together.  i  miss those guys a lot… wait till i get there. hehehe… : ) hours to go and i'll be there. yey! : )